


How It Should Have Ended

by OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor



Series: Naruto Drabbles [7]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Jiraiya lives, Non cannon compliant character survival, Shizune does not get paid enough for this nonsense, Tsunade reacts, how it should have ended
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 06:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12475884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor/pseuds/OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor
Summary: Jiraiya doesn't die in the land of Rain. This is his homecoming.





	How It Should Have Ended

**Author's Note:**

> Author has not finished Shippuden.

     Jiraiya’s last sensation was one of sinking. His mind blurred and faded, clinging to the the threads of stories he had yet to tell as everything went dark.

     “Stop fussing! He’ll wake up when he wakes up, and none of your prodding and poking is going to get him there any faster!”   
     “My ‘prodding’ and ‘poking’ is why he’s going to wake up at all! If you can’t be helpful, go somewhere else!”  
     I didn’t expect death to have quite so much yelling, Jiraiya thought. He groaned as he tried to move. A solid weight landed on his chest.   
     “Not yet, boy-o! I did not go to all the work of putting you back together for you to ruin it by moving too soon! Now go to sleep!” Jiraiya felt a tap between his eyes and the world vanished again.   
The next time Jiraiya woke up it was quiet. He was warm and comfortable, like taking a nap in a sunny spot, or soaking in the onsen. He opened his eyes and stared at an unfamiliar ceiling. Swinging his legs off the comfortable bed, he very carefully sat up. He wobbled slightly trying to stand, having only one arm to support himself instead of two.   
     “I would have thought I’d get it back it in the afterlife,” he mumbled.   
     “You’re not dead! Though it was a very near thing. Do not get out of that bed!” A voice called from somewhere else in the house. Jiraiya obediently sat back down. A tiny, wizened old toad hopped into the room, older even than Grandma Toad Sage. She jumped on the bed to examine him, looking into his eyes and ears, running her webbed hands over him.   
     “You’ve recovered quite nicely,” she told him. “This was the hardest case of my life.”  
     “I’m guessing I’m in the Land of Toads,” Jiraiya said,”but can you tell me how I got here, Grandmother? Last I remember I was bleeding out and drowning.”   
     “A messenger relayed the situation, and I was sent to retrieve you. Even with all my skills, it was a near thing,” she said. Jiraiya nodded.   
     “I didn’t know there was power that could save me,” he said.   
     “It took all my considerable skills,” she said. “And some things even I can’t fix.” She nodded to his missing arm.   
     “How am I going to get home? I can’t perform jutsu anymore.”  
     “We’ll send you home when you are ready,” the old toad assured him. “There are many there who bitterly mourn your loss.”  
     “You haven’t told them?” Jiraiya cried.   
     “It took all my power to keep you alive!” She scolded. “You’ll be sent back soon enough to deal with things left undone. Now, sleep.” She tapped him between the eyes again, and that was the last thing Jiraiya remembered.

     “Bunta, you’re my escort home?” Jiraiya asked, glad to see his old friend.   
     “Mmm, yes, no one refuses the grandmother of all toads,” he rumbled. “And she seems to have taken a liking to you, Jiraiya.”  
      “She is a goddess among toads,” Jiraiya said with all of his usual charm. “And any time I have left I owe to her,” he continued, more serious. “If ever you have need of me… Well, you’ll know where to find me,” he said. “I’m sorry I won’t be able to visit you any more.”   
     “All things end, all things change,” Gamabunta rumbled. “Are you ready?” Jiraiya nodded, and Gamabunta transported them.  
     “Right to the Hokage’s doorstep? Really, Bunta?” Jiraiya asked, secretly impressed that Gamabunta managed to wedge himself into the middle of town without causing any serious property damage.   
      “This is where Grandmother said you needed to be,” Gamabunta said. “I take my leave of you, Jiraiya, Mountain Toad Sage.” Gamabunta gently set Jiraiya on the ground and vanished. Jiraiya turned to face the Hokage’s office to see Tsunade standing frozen in the he doorway.   
     “Told you I’d make it back if you bet against me,” he said weakly. Jiraiya could see the tears start.  
     “Aw, Tsunade, don’t cry…” said. “I’m all right.” She launched herself at him and Jiraiya barely caught her in his one good arm.   
     “Easy there, you’ll knock me over,” he murmured into her hair. “It’s ok. I’m here, I’m here.” Tsunade pulled back far enough to pound on his chest with her fists.  
     “I. Thought. You. Died.” Each word was punctuated with a blow.   
     “I know,” he said. “I thought I died too. I should have.” He rubbed soothing circles on Tsunade’s back. She buried her head in Jiraiya’s chest, whole body shaking with sobs.   
     “I’m sorry, Tsunade, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Jiraiya repeated. “I would never, ever hurt you if I could avoid it. Never.”   
     “I know, that makes it WORSE!” Tsunade said, her voice muffled against his chest. They were starting to gather an audience of onlookers, but Jiraiya couldn’t bring himself to care. Tsunade wrapped her arms around his neck, tugging him down until she could press her lips to his, a hard, desperate kiss.   
     “I knew I’d win you over eventually,” Jiraiya said when she pulled back, shooting her a cocky grin. “But you might want to wait until we don’t have an audience, Lady Hokage.” Tsunade smacked him again. But she took a small step away from him, as there were a lot people staring.   
     “I will debrief Jiraiya in my office,” she announced for the benefit of the onlookers before dragging Jiraiya into the building after her.   
     “I’ve always wanted you to debrief me, Tsunade,” he whispered in her ear. “And in the Hokage’s office. My my.”   
     “Pervert,” she said. “We’re going out the window.”   
     “You might have to help keep me balanced,” Jiraiya said, gesturing to where his arm wasn’t.   
     “I always keep you balanced,” Tsunade said, but her eyes lingered a little too long.   
     “I know,” Jiraiya said, stepping into the windowsill. “Lead on, my lady.” Tsunade stepped up and pushed off in one smooth motion. Jiraiya followed her, grinning like an idiot. What ever happened, this was definitely the best day of his life.

     “Tsunade, you didn’t!” Jiraiya laughed. “You turned one of our old haunts into your own private retreat?”  
     “I had to have somewhere Shizune couldn’t find me,” Tsunade protested. “And the only ones who knew about these caves were you, me, and Orochimaru.”   
     “But Tsunade, you moved in! You’ve got a bed up here! And a bookshelf! And a very impressive collection of alcohol…”   
     “Even the Hokage has to unwind somehow!”  
     “I don’t doubt that,” Jiraiya said. “Can you imagine if I had accepted the position when they offered it to me?”  
     “It would have been a train wreck,” Tsunade said. “Sake?”  
     “Yes please. And such a train wreck.” Jiraiya laughed.   
     “We’ve had to start giving remedial sex ed classes because of your ‘literature’,” Tsunade said. Jiraiya snorted.   
     “If the kids are using it as a guidebook instead of entertainment, you might want to offer some other remedial classes as well.” He took a sip of his sake. Tsunade laughed, downing her own glass in one swallow.   
     “You do have a point there.” The smile slipped off her face as she studied him.   
     “What happened, Jiraiya?”   
     “I lost. I’m sure you decoded the message by now,” he said. Tsunade nodded, so Jiraiya continued.   
     “That was my last effort. The very last thing I did with my life, and only because never giving up is my ninja way, the only thing I have to leave to the world. I got the message out, and then they hit me, five blades, and the last thing I remember is sinking. Until I woke up in the care of the oldest and most powerful toad I’ve ever met.”   
     “But you had the sages with you for that battle!” Tsunade said.  
     “Exactly,” Jiraiya said. “Think on that. But she patched me up and sent me back, said I had ‘things yet undone’.”   
     “Me,” Tsunade muttered under her breath.  
     “What was that, my lady?”   
     “Nothing, nothing!” Tsunade said. The flush on her cheeks could easily be from the alcohol. “Does it still hurt?” She asked.  
     “Where the grandmother toad healed me? It doesn’t, really. Added some impressive scars to the collection, though.”   
     “Can I see?” Tsunade asked before she thought the question through.   
     “Sure,” Jiraiya said. He shrugged out of his vest easily enough, and his green top, but paused when he got to the mesh undershirt.   
     “Tsunade, I may need your help with this,” Jiraiya said, squirming a little to untuck the top from his waistband. Tsunade put her hands on his shoulders, stilling him. She ran her hands down his chest, untucking the mesh top and peeling it slowly over his head. Jiraiya stayed still as Tsunade started tracing the marks on his body. She started with the stump of his arm, tracing the knotted scars. Jiraiya shivered lightly at the touch. She traced the stab wounds that should have ended Jiraiya's life one by one. Jiraiya remained still under her probing fingertips. She moved from the fresh scars to the older, silvery lines that criss-crossed his torso.   
     “Don’t you ever take care of yourself?” Tsunade asked. Jiraiya shrugged.  
     “You know me, I always come out alright,” Jiraiya said.   
     “Until you don’t,” Tsunade said. Her fingers traced lazy shapes on his pectorals, moving around the still pink and angry scars.   
     “Tsunade,” Jiraiya said, resting his hand on her shoulder. “I think I’m officially retired now. No more dangerous missions.”  
     “That doesn’t mean you’ll stay,” Tsunade said. “You never stay in one place too long.”  
     “I’ve never had a reason to,” Jiraiya said.   
     “A reason..?” Tsunade whispered. “What sort of reason?”  
     “Tsunade,” Jiraiya breathed, pressing his forehead to hers. “You know what sort of a reason. You have to know.”   
     “I… I know,” Tsunade said. Jiraiya pressed his lips gently to hers. Only for a moment before pulling back.   
     “Jiraiya,” Tsunade said. “Stay with me, please. Don’t leave me again.”   
     “Marry me,” Jiraiya said.  
     “What?” Tsunade asked.  
     “Marry me. Give me a reason to stay. Say yes. I’d never leave you, you know this.”   
     “Then yes,” Tsunade said.   
     “Yes?”  
     “Yes,” Tsunade repeated.   
     “Yes,” Jiraiya said.   
     “Don’t sound so shocked,” Tsunade said.   
     “Tsunade, I have every reason to sound shocked. You’ve shot me down every time before now,”   
     “Shut up,” Tsunade said. She kissed him, shifting to straddle his hips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and nibbled on his bottom lip.   
     “Tsunade, Tsunade, do you really want to do this here?” Jiraiya asked.   
     “You’re complaining? You?” Tsunade quirked an eyebrow at him.  
     “Should I be offended by that comment?” Jiraiya asked.  
     “There's a bed! What more do you want? Your novels involve much more questionable locations,” Tsunade said.  
     “You've read my novels?” Jiraiya asked.  
     “Not the point, Jiraiya.”  
     “But I need to know if there's a particular scene you want to try…” he teased. Tsunade smacked his chest.  
     “You’re not helping your case,” Tsunade told him.   
      “You know you love me,” Jiraiya said.   
     “For some unfathomable reason, I do,” Tsunade said. Jiraiya’s eyes widened.   
     “Really?”  
     “Jiraiya! I literally just agreed to marry you! Are you seriously surprised that I said I loved you?”   
      “Um, a little bit,” Jiraiya admitted. Tsunade sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She shifted slightly in Jiraiya’s lap, and he moaned softly.   
     “Jiraiya. You’ve been my closest friend for how many years now? No, don’t count, I don’t actually want to know.” Tsunade put her hands on Jiraiya’s cheeks, making sure he was looking at her.   
      “I do love you, and I very nearly lost you. I’ve lost almost everyone I’ve ever cared about, Jiraiya. It’s why I kept telling you no for so many years. I thought if I could just pretend I didn’t care, you’d always be safe. But you weren’t. So fuck it, I’m not missing out on anything else.”  
     “I’d rather fuck you,” Jiraiya   
     “That is the plan,” Tsunade said, leaning in to kiss him again.

      “You’re going to do what?” Shizune asked, staring at the pair in front of her.   
     “We’re getting married,” Tsunade explained. “And you’re going to be our witness.”   
     “Tsunade, I don’t think this is strictly legal,” Shizune tried again.   
     “I’m the Hokage, I’m the one who gets to fill out the marriage licenses, and has to officiate, and I’m getting us married, right now.” Tsunade crossed her arms over her chest. Jiraiya grinned like an idiot beside her.   
     “What brought about this sudden decision?” Shizune asked, grasping at straws now.   
     “Sudden?” Jiraiya laughed like she’d just told the funniest joke. “Shizune, I’ve been trying to get her to say yes to me since I was 12. This has been a lifelong pursuit. Now all we need you to do is sign on the witness’ line, all right?”   
    “You’re really sure about this?” Shizune asked Tsunade one last time.   
     “Shizune. I’m sure. Promise.” The younger woman sighed.   
    “Fine. Where do I sign?”   
    “Here,” Tsunade pointed.  
     “Aren’t you going to say anything? Vows or whatever?” Shizune asked. Tsunade laced her fingers through Jiraiya’s.   
     “What’s left to say when it’s been lived? And really, we’re not sure who’s tying who down at this point,” Tsunade said.   
     “I’m tying you down,” Jiraiya said, the biggest goofiest grin on his face.   
     “Shut up,” Tsunade said affectionately.   
     “I have to handle both of them now,” Shizune muttered to herself. “I don’t get paid enough for this.” 

**Author's Note:**

> And they were happy, and they drove pretty much everyone else nuts, and Jiraiya taught at the ninja academy, which may have been a questionable choice but seemed to work out well enough for everyone involved.
> 
> Totally wrote this because I can't deal with Jiraiya's death and am choosing to ignore it. Also one of those fics where the characters took off and started doing their own thing and I was just along for the ride.


End file.
